"Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama's birth certificate to make sure that it's real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump's hair." —Jimmy Fallon
"Today President Obama released his long-form birth certificate, proving once and for all he was born in this country. But you know, it never ends. Now Republican leaders are saying they want to see the placenta." —Jay Leno
"The Federal Trade Commission says for the 11th year in a row the biggest consumer complaint is identity theft. Which led President Obama to say, "That's why you should never show ANYONE your birth certificate." —Jay Leno
"These people could have personally witnessed him being born out of an apple pie, in the middle of a Kansas wheat field, while Toby Keith sang the National Anthem — and they'd still think he was a Kenyan Muslim." —Jimmy Kimmel
"After releasing the birth certificate today, he said 'There's work to be done, there are real problems in this country, and we don't have time for this silliness.' Then he and Michelle got on a plane and flew to Chicago to tape an episode of Oprah." —Jay Leno
"President Obama finally broke down and showed everyone his birth certificate. Donald Trump says he hopes the press can now stop asking him questions about this completely made-up issue that he's beaten to death." —Jimmy Kimmel
"I'm surprised Donald Trump isn't investigating whether Hawaii is an official state. A lot of vowels over there and not enough consonants." —Jimmy Kimmel
"President Obama released his long-form birth certificate yesterday. So we found the birth certificate. Now it's on to bin Laden." —David Letterman
"They have to put Trump on every program, spewing his crazy ideas, because his poll numbers are so high. And his poll numbers are so high because they put him on every program, spewing his crazy ideas." —Jon Stewart
"It was just revealed that Donald Trump hasn't voted in primary elections in over 20 years. Or in simpler terms, Trump hasn't voted in primary elections in over three wives." —Jimmy Fallon
"Sarah Palin has written two books, her daughter Bristol has a book coming out — and now Levi Johnston is writing one too. Who would've ever guessed that America's greatest literary dynasty would come out of an igloo?" —Jimmy Kimmel
"A study found Americans spend $1.2 trillion every year on stuff they don't need. Or as Republicans call it, health care." —Jimmy Fallon
"Every time a kid found an egg, Michelle Obama would make them trade it in for a low cholesterol Egg Beater. They had about 6,000 eggs, and you know who decorated them? Ex-cons. It's nice to see the White House reaching out to former members of Congress." —Jay Leno
"Hey, who's excited about the Royal Wedding? I'm conflicted. I can't figure out whether I don't care or whether I couldn't care less. I think we're all more excited about the royal divorce." —David Letterman
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Source: http://politicalhumor.about.com/b/2011/04/29/the-weeks-best-late-night-jokes-121.htm
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